You may shake your head with the painful memories of massive sums of money lost, and swear in a pile of Bibles to never make the mistake of take part in a shoot-out with the One-Armed Bandit, but is that really true? With a bit of luck, you’ll be in a position to resist the beck of the machine for a couple of days, or maybe a month or two. But you’re certain that you’ll have to return to play again sooner or later. You shouldn’t let that Bandit take PG SLOT the victory in a matter of minutes, do you? Absolutely not.

It’s just a machine, that’s all it is that has the “brain” comprised of wires and microchips. You, on the other hand, are a living, breathing entity with the capacity for critical thinking and self-reflection. If humanity is to have any hope even a little bit of survival in the worldwide war against machines that is certain to happen in the near future and we’d best be able to defeat the machines. Look at the situation in this kind of sweeping historical context and you’ll see that it’s not simply the choice, but an obligation that you get on your horse as soon as is possible.

Before you embark on your noble pursuit to defend humanity, it would be prudent to go over some fundamental information and arm yourself with the five essential tips for success.

You might not be aware that the slot machine goes under various names across foreign nations. For instance, within the United Kingdom, it is known as the fruit machine (no jokes about British drag queens Please.) In Australia the slot machine is referred to as a “poker machine,” which is even more confusing. But what can you expect from a society that has outdoor grills being the name of a little girl’s toy? (Let it sink in for some time, and you’ll see it.)

But, in general, American slot machines are operated by coins and comprise 3 or more reels, which spin when the lever on the side of the device is pulled. The machines come with an electronic currency detector which validates the cash that you deposit to play. The machine is usually paid by analyzing patterns of symbols seen when the reels cease to spin.

Okay okay, good enough for the description. Let’s get to the tips you were promised a few paragraphs ago:

Tip #1

Be familiar with each slot machine’s payouts schedule. Two machines that are identical typically have drastically different payouts. This is important for people.

Tip #2

Make sure you find slot machines offering 96-98% paybacks. The majority of casinos have a few banks or carousels of high payout slots, and this is the area you should play.

Tip #3

Join the Casino Players Club whenever you play regularly. Casinos pay players back for their time and money they spend. Even if you fail to win but you can still earn bonuses like discounts on meals, hotel rooms, and various other benefits.

Tip #4

It’s a simple thing to do however, you should only play slot machines you can manage and only gamble with money you’re willing to risk losing. Seriously.

Tip #5

Walk away when you’re losing and becoming annoyed. The game of slot machines is meant to be a relaxing pastime, not a source of anger that causes ulcers. If it’s not fun anymore, go get drinks and fresh air.

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